on... I mean... oh dear...
"Shhhh..."
I knew what was going on as soon as I heard the muffled giggles just outside my door. They were going to startle me awake. They were going to fail. I kept one eye tightly shut and the other squinting up at a shadowy figure creeping closer, until it was looming right above me. My eyes sprung open as I threw my arms up, letting out a blood curdling shriek. Marie and Jo practically shat themselves, and Dad sat there laughing at the door with Pete. The man above me, was Dale. I'd not yet met Dale, but If I'd not been awake, he would have scared the shit out of me - he's a roughly six foot tall man with long blonde hair in a ponytail, and a beard which is just as majestic. He is also extremely friendly. I rubbed my eyes laughing; feeling good about myself and making a note to be wary of them trying to get me back later for thwarting their plans to give me a fright. It would be a good day.
Pete lets travelers stay on his property quite a bit, as far as I gathered, but at a price - they must work. I ate breakfast, then Jo and I set off in one of Pete's trucks to feed the young stock.
Farm Stuff
The calves were cute. The bigger teen cows stunk. Their leavings stunk worse.
At one point, we went to pick up dale too, and I sat in another interesting location this drive - the back was taken by cattle feed, and the two seats in the front were taken by Dale and Jo. The only place left was...
Riding on the front of Pete's truck.
After our feeding run, and me trying the cow-feed to see how it tasted (not terribly nice), we went back to the house where Pete had a special job for me:
Another one off the bucket-list.
That afternoon, Jo and I went off to milk the big cows. She did the milking (as this particular job put you in the perfect place to get a mouthful of shit) and I hosed up afterward (cows shit a LOT). The poor beasts were terrified of me.
Old farm equipment.
Marie and Peter training horses. 
The Marshall gene continues to shine.
Never grill plastic cheese.
When we got back to the house though, things would only suck more.
Dad had head lice.
(Insert childhood damaging mental image here to further understand my displeasure)
I'm sure that upon reading this, you know exactly what the head louse is and how to eliminate it from any scalp. If not, here is a basic rundown of how to kill the fuckers:
Step 1: Apply special head lice solution to hair, covering the scalp thoroughly to kill lice.
Step 2: Run thin metal nit comb through hair to remove eggs, making sure not to miss any of your head.
Step 3: Check scalp for a few days after, just to be sure.
Seems pretty simple. Not really though. I have dreadlocks. Step 2 is irrelevant; my hair was at risk something savage of being clipped off. For the rest of the day, it was a madhouse. Jo and Dad both had nits, and with my hair it was hard to be sure as you cant really search it properly, and I'd been in constant contact with dad, hugging him and whatnot. Pete went to town and bought some chemicals, and we set to work on all our scalps. I was determined to kill them if there were any; every lock of hair smelled like coconut and dish detergent.
I know this was the motif for my first blog, but the one thing going through my head at this time was "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck".
That night, the dinner conversation didn't vary much from lice and nervous laughter. I still had the stuff in and intended to leave it in until morning.
Dad cutting out his dreadlock to help eliminate the nits. Phew.
Jo and I were on feeding duty again. Dad joined in the fun, and I sat in the boot. We had dinner and packed our things, ready to leave the next day.
Long story short, I am alive. This post is a week late, but I promise I will bring you all up to scratch as to my doings as soon as I possibly can. My journey hitchhiking to the Confest site and the wondrous five day event itself is all yet to come, and I assure you I will have lots to write. For now I am near Moulamein (roughly 30km out), and I will most likely not post again for another two weeks or more, but here is a picture of where I am sleeping at the moment to build the anticipation.
The Maffnwy: Home sweet home.
See you all soon! xox
No comments:
Post a Comment